Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
