I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
