I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
