Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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