I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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