My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
