Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
