At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
