you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
