so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
