Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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