just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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