it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
