Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
