I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
