He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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