Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
