Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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