no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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