i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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