One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
