Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
