I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
