That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
