:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
