dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
