i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
