the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
