READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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