i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
