Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
