Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
