THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
