If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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