i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
