Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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