Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
