u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
