when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This girl is more easily done than said...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
