I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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