I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
