You made me cry and you don't even care
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
