i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
