OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
