i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
