It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
