I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
