i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
