We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
