it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
